“One of my favourite things is when a new participant plucks up the courage to join in the discussion”

FriendChat brings together all sorts of people all across the country to chat online. The volunteers’ role is to facilitate interactions and ensure that people, including those who find it difficult to leave their homes, are heard.

“I hope these discussions will alleviate the loneliness felt by many and give the participants confidence in their ability to function in social settings,” says Hanna-Maija Valjanen, who has been volunteering in online friend activities for about a year. 

_{For Hanna-Maija Valjanen as a volunteer, it is particularly important for her to include every participant in the discussion.}

FriendChat is a low-threshold meeting place. Chat conversations take place using nicknames and without showing the faces of participants. There are always volunteers in the chat to ensure the conversation runs smoothly.  

“As a FriendChat volunteer, I felt that, in a way, I had found what I had been looking for: a way of volunteering that came naturally to me. I am familiar with experiences of loneliness myself, and I find it motivating to discuss the topic and discover different opinions and perspectives. Loneliness is an immensely complex subject, and the experiences of loneliness and associated emotions vary a lot. I think it is important that there is a platform where you can talk about the topic and, at the same time, simply be part of the community,” says Stiina Laakkonen, a volunteer who joined the FriendChat activities a couple of years ago.

Participating in FriendChat does not require any commitments, not even to sending a message. Chat participants are free to come and go as they please. According to Valjanen, many participants are present for the entire chat, some pop in for a moment or two to join in the conversation, and some just read the chat. All these ways of getting involved are equally valuable.

“As a volunteer, it is particularly important to me to acknowledge every participant in the discussion. I also make sure that nothing inappropriate is sent to the chat and that the discussion does not get too detailed. I haven’t had to use any moderation features, as the discussions have always gone smoothly when I have been on duty. However, I feel it is important that I am able to take action if necessary, should anyone post something inappropriate,” says Valjanen.

“Every participant is important”

FriendChat lasts for a few hours at a time and typically has a friendly and warm atmosphere.

“Speedfriending is a more light-hearted theme chat, whilst the atmosphere in the ‘Bringing up loneliness’ chats varies depending on the topics discussed and the participants. The mood is often one of curious empathy and compassion, and the participants are actively involved," Laakkonen sums up.

_{Volunteer Stiina Laakkonen finds it valuable that, in the chat, you can realise you are not alone with your experiences and feelings.}

Recurring topics include, amongst other things, people’s news and hobbies. Loneliness, financial difficulties and illnesses or disabilities are also frequently discussed.

“There are plenty of topics, ranging from happy to sad. However, our aim is for the chat to be an enjoyable experience for all participants. For some people, taking part in a chat is a pleasant way to pass the time; for others, it is a vital step towards building relationships. I am delighted to be able to offer opportunities for both of these needs. The best thing is when there is a proper exchange of views on the same topic between several participants," says Valjanen.

“Perhaps one of my favourite things ultimately is when a new participant plucks up the courage to join in the discussions and stays a little longer. On the other hand, I like it when I recognise the regular participants, and many of them recognise me,” Valjanen continues.

I am doing my bit to make the world at least a little bit more humane.

The FriendChat begins with the participants and organisers sharing how they are doing. The common rules are also stated at the beginning of each session.

“The principles of safer spaces are really important. The participants should feel that they can talk about even difficult topics. I also think it is important to set aside some time at the end of the chat to wrap up the conversation and give feedback in a positive spirit," says Laakkonen.

According to Valjanen and Laakkonen, the best things about volunteering are its meaningfulness and the support given to each other.

“I feel that I am doing important work that does not require a great deal of effort on my part. I am doing my bit to make the world at least a little bit more humane. I can also choose when I want to help run the chat. The volunteers have their own community, from which I can get support when I need it," says Valjanen.

“I am pretty sure that the themed chats have brought both joy and comfort to the participants. How valuable it is to feel seen and included in the chat. To notice that you are not alone with your experiences and feelings. Loneliness does not in any way make you a less valuable or worse person. For me, too, the chat sessions are a way of feeling involved, and just as they have for other participants, they have brought me joy and comfort, and a sense of purpose,” says Laakkonen.

“I am motivated not only by the discussions and the people taking part in them, but also by other volunteers. In the chat, you are not on your own—there is always a friend there with you. The volunteers are also a great bunch of people who provide a lot of support and joy," Laakkonen continues.

Valjanen has a clear message for those considering taking part in FriendChat:

“You are very welcome.  You can pop into the chat just to have a look, and even a simple greeting like ‘hi’ is a good way to get the conversation started. You can pop into the chat just once, or find a weekly community to join. Every participant is important.”

Finnish Red Cross FriendChat

The Finnish Red Cross FriendChat offers a range of chat rooms and video meetings for young people, older adults and on various topics. The service is available in Finnish, Swedish and English. The chats are anonymous and safe group discussions where you can talk about the joys and sorrows of everyday life. Learn more about the different chat rooms, video meetings and timetables.