“Friendship with Sofia has changed my life and improved my self-esteem”

They were nervous before their first meeting. Sofia Henriksson and Jolanda Westerlund were invited to meet each other at Livia college in Tuorla, where Jolanda was studying to become a gardener. 

Luckily, I had a wonderful teacher, who saw that I was lonely.

They were destined to become friends. The situation was peculiar because they did not know each other and knew nothing about each other save their names and ages.

“I had moved from Rauma to Turku for studies. I did not know anyone in the new city, I was very shy, and it was difficult for me to meet new people. I was anxious being alone at home and at school. Luckily, I had a wonderful teacher, who saw that I was lonely. The teacher contacted the Red Cross and asked if they could find me a friend,” Jolanda says.

The Red Cross contacted Sofia who is involved in friend visitor activities and asked if she was interested in becoming a friend to a woman of the same age. Two of Jolanda’s teachers and Red Cross youth activities planners also attended the first meeting.

“I was nervous before the meeting. I was afraid of being awkward and scaring Sofia away,” Jolanda says.

“I was also nervous. Jolanda was shy and quiet. Afterwards I wondered if I had talked too much,” Sofia says.

Despite the initial awkwardness, they both had a good impression of each other. They exchanged telephone numbers and decided to meet up again.

Five years later, the shyness has definitely evaporated. Laughter and happy chatter fill the room when Sofia, 25, and Jolanda, 27, sit down at a café table in Turku.

“Jolanda has changed so much. Even when it came to the interview request, she immediately said yes and was excited about it. I wish I was as relaxed and enthusiastic about things myself,” Sofia laughs.

Feeling good is the reward

Sofia is not new to friend visitor activities. She had gotten involved with the Red Cross activities when she was 15 and completed the friend visitor course, and she had since served as a friend to an older lady for five years. Sofia’s own mother encouraged her to become a volunteer, as she had also volunteered herself.

In this time and age, volunteering seems almost radical.

Currently, Sofia sees her almost ninety-year-old Red Cross friend once a month. In the three hours they spend together, they have time to talk about important things, have a cup of coffee and do handicrafts.

“She really likes dogs, and so I sometimes bring my dog with me,” Sofia says.

In addition to the two friends Sofia has made through the Red Cross, she serves as a support person for one elderly person through the Gubbe service. She is also involved in Red Cross youth activities.

“In this time and age, volunteering seems almost radical. You do not volunteer for benefits or pay, but because you want to and for the joy you get out of it,” Sofia says.

A true friend 

After the first meeting, the friendship between Jolanda and Sofia progressed naturally. For their second meeting, Jolanda went to visit Sofia at home. They played dice games, watched a movie and talked about Sofia's mother's cats that Sofia was looking after.

I am more outgoing in getting to know people.

After just a few meetings, they realised that they had made a real friend in each other.

“We had a lot in common and we enjoyed spending time together,” Sofia says.

Currently, Sofia and Jolanda meet around once a month and communicate almost daily. They usually visit each other at home, talk and have coffee. They have also gone on cruises and done crafts at the cinema.

Jolanda and Sofia share an interest in cats and handicrafts and a similar sense of humour, among other things. Sofia and her spouse have two cats and dogs. Jolanda was so excited about Sofia's cats that she decided to get a cat with her boyfriend.

“Sofia told me that I should take two cats at the same time, so there are now two cats. It has proved to be a good solution. I have learned a lot about cats from Sofia. Thanks to her, I am also a lot bolder and I know how to crochet,” Jolanda says.

Jolanda has a clear answer to the question of what she gets out of their friendship:

“Achy cheeks. I just spent the night at Sofia and her spouse’s house, and I laughed so much that my cheeks hurt. Friendship with Sofia has changed my life and improved my self-esteem. I am more outgoing in getting to know people and I even found a boyfriend!”

A positive attitude will get you far 

According to the Red Cross Loneliness barometer, loneliness has increased among young people, and this can also be seen in friend visitor activities: only a few people sign up to become someone’s friend and many more people are looking for friends.

This does not require special skills, only some time and the willingness to help.

According to Sofia, there does not need to be a specific reason why someone is alone. All it takes is a small change in life, such as a new place to study, moving to a new town – or the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I started studying political science at the university in 2020. Due to the pandemic, all my classes were remote and all events were cancelled. I’m sure it increased loneliness,” Sofia says.

Sofia and Jolanda encourage everyone to join friend visitor activities.

“This does not require special skills, only some time and the willingness to help. All you need to do is be yourself and have a positive attitude,” Sofia says.

When Sofia and Jolanda meet next, they will be doing something quite special. They will be looking for a wedding dress for Jolanda. The wedding is in May, and a lot of things have yet to be done. According to Jolanda, Sofia is more stressed about the wedding preparations than she herself.

“Sofia is excited about the bachelorette party and asks me when we are going to look for the dress and whether the wedding invitations have been made. I trust that everything will be okay,” Jolanda says.

Text: Anu Välilä

The article was first published in the January 2026 issue of the Punainen Risti magazine.